The actress says younger men offer more openness and less control than men her age

Tracee Ellis Ross has always stood firm in her independence, but in a rare moment of vulnerability and candour, the 52-year-old actress opened up about love, loss, and her choice to date younger men.

Speaking on a recent episode of the IMO podcast hosted by Michelle Obama and her brother Craig Robinson, the Emmy-nominated star of Black-ish explained why she often gravitates toward men younger than her. And it’s not just about energy or fun—it’s about emotional safety.

“A lot of men my age are steeped in toxic masculinity,” Ross shared, her voice firm yet reflective. “They’ve been raised in a culture where a relationship looks a certain way, where control or possession is part of the deal. I did enough of that already—and I have no interest in doing it again.”

Ross, known for her sharp wit and iconic fashion, acknowledged her statement may be a generalisation, but insisted it comes from lived experience. She finds younger men more open-minded and less inclined to view her as something to be managed or moulded.

“I’ve long passed the point where I feel like it’s my job to grow someone up,” she added. “That’s not for me anymore.”

The conversation with Obama turned deeper, with Ross reflecting on how society’s expectations for women, particularly around marriage and motherhood, have shaped and sometimes haunted her inner world.

“I grieve the things I thought would be and that are not,” she confessed. “I’m not married. I don’t have children. And at times, that grief surfaces.”

Yet even in that grief, Ross finds power and perspective. “I wouldn’t want the wrong partner,” she said with conviction. “I’m not interested in being in a relationship just to be in one. You have to make my life better.”

Ross, who has often kept her personal life fiercely private, revealed that she’s still dating, but on her terms. “I’ve really learned how to live life and enjoy it, and not sit around waiting,” she said. “I wake up every morning trying to do my best. I didn’t wake up and think, ‘I’m going to mess this day up.’ So I must be where I’m supposed to be.”

It’s not the first time Ross has spoken about self-worth and autonomy. Her journey through Hollywood has always come with a strong voice about womanhood, ageing, and freedom. But her remarks on the podcast mark one of her most personal revelations yet, offering an honest glimpse into how she’s balanced self-fulfilment with the absence of traditional milestones.

Fans and listeners have applauded the actress for her openness, many praising her for naming the unspoken grief many women feel but seldom share.

“Tracee reminds us that not getting what we expected from life doesn’t mean we’ve failed,” one listener wrote online. “It means we’ve grown into a different version of joy.”

At 52, Ross continues to build a life that reflects her values, whether it’s refusing toxic relationships or finding strength in solitude. Her message is clear: love is welcome, but only if it comes with respect, freedom, and the right kind of growth.